The previous two topics I wrote about were “The Rules of Life” and “Peace of Mind.” After the uncertainty and volatile financial markets of the first six months of 2022, I thought “Life” was a topic to try to say something about without writing a thesis.
One day, a good friend FP (for protection against the legislation, I only use initials). The more I read and think about the universe about creation, the less I understand. However, one day my dad said to me: “if you only know how little you know, then you already know a lot,” and I realised this more and more every day. About whom our parents and family are and where we grow up is a given. How we grow older, choose friends, start a career, and in those circumstances, choices play a role, but many of them are still linked to our growing years. Every choice you make has a result, and the outcome is something you must live with forever. Yesterday is history – to which you can do nothing (and cannot change); today is life, and tomorrow is unknown.
VV always says: “you can bake a pancake as thick or thin as you want, but it only has two sides.” And so, it is with exercising choices. Are the two sides right or wrong, is it good or excellent, is it a failure, or can you live with it and enslave its joy or discomfort. Life does not work with buttons and a computer memory where you can delete, change, or beautify things. What has been said, done, and happened is what we call history – fortunately, history is not always captured in writing; some things fade over time, while others are etched in our memory.
I hear so many people say, “one day,” or “I had to,” or “I would like to,” but there are so many unknowns ahead (whom we could not foresee) that change our planning, dreams, and wishes. And all these things happen while the precious asset of time passes by. I’m happy with my profession – I work with people and can share calculations and information and give advice or be a sounding board – things I enjoy. What is also true, however, is that as the years go by, I sometimes wonder how other decisions would have turned out, what became of people who had previously crossed my path, with whom I disagreed, or who had touched my life. I am privileged to meet other people regularly in my profession and realise once again that each is unique. I am honoured to work with young people, see how they adapt to the changing world, develop and grow (which gives me hope for the future) and make choices that may only come to fruition in twenty or thirty years from now.
Close your eyes for a moment and imagine you are attending your funeral service – and I know it’s a bit far-fetched but read on. What life would you like to lead, what do you want to remember, and what will you regret? If possible, try applying, doing, and living some of the following – it may bring you great joy.
- I wish I cared less about what other people thought of me. Stop spending energy and time on it – what does it matter in all cases?
- I wish I had achieved more. You do not have to win an Oscar, be a famous entrepreneur, or complete the Comrades but small goals achieved are more critical.
- I wish I had honestly told “someone” how I feel. Being honest in this regard is difficult, but remember it always stays with you, and you must live with it.
- I wish I had stood up more for myself. It is a difficult one, but still, age brings insight to accept but not at the expense of yourself.
- I wish I had lived out my passion in life. We are easily seduced by a fixed salary, a constant routine, and a comfortable life – but at what price?
- I wish our last conversation were not an argument. Life is so short, and we do not know if we will ever be able to correct it – I do not really know, but acceptance and an apology are not more effortless and may stay with that person forever.
- I wish I had allowed others to be just themselves. The realisation of love, compassion, empathy, and acceptance is so much more important than differences over values and own views.
- I wish I lived more in “the moment.” Life is short, and yesterday is over. Shouldn’t I have done, said, or experienced something?
- I wish I had worked less – the people who know me well will laugh when they hear me say it – but success and achieving things are not necessarily requirements for a good life.
- I wish I had traveled more, climbed mountains, swam in the sea, and played with children. We often look for a reason not to do these things, and if we can, one day, the legs or body no longer feel like it.
- I wish I had believed my “gut” rather than listening to others. Your own decisions give much more fulfillment and joy and bring experience that life should give you – and you cannot blame anyone for that.
- I wish I had taken better care of myself. Eating, drinking, and hanging out is fun, but exercise is more challenging and takes time. Walking is terrific exercise.
- I wish I had taken more risks. We each have our views on risks, but sometimes our comfort zone is too cuddly. Life offers a lot, and you should not miss everything.
- I wish I had more time. Indeed, we can each control our time – what do you spend it on, and is it fulfilling? Then continue with it, or you will waste precious moments.
- I wish I did not worry so much about things! We are who we are, and our personalities bring the matter across our path. However, think carefully about it and whether you can change something.
- I wish I appreciated “someone” more. Do we take anyone for granted? One of my most beautiful moments is when someone says nice words to me – thank you, appreciate, I understand, I think of you, you care, your help is scarred from the things that give me the most joy.
- I wish I had spent more time with people who care about me. Circumstances and priorities sometimes make this impossible. These days, I’m candy with my time and forgive people who cannot accept it.
- I wish I had not taken myself so seriously. Life is probably more fun when you laugh, especially for yourself.
- I wish I could do more for others. I tried hard (but also learned expensive lessons), but now it gave me much joy.
- I wish I could feel happier. Happiness is not where you live, work, or play. It is not the people or environment you find yourself in. Happiness is in your heart and mind, and only you can change it.
I have again learned that I still have a lot to learn. Enjoy life!
christo
Disclaimer:
Autus Private Clients (Pty) Ltd (APC) sends this writing on behalf of Christo to clients of choice and does not publish the content on social media. If you prefer not to receive it, please notify me by email at christo@autus.co.za. Christo Malan is the chairman of the Autus Group, an authorised representative at APC, and Aboutir Wealth (Pty) Ltd (Aboutir). He sometimes sits in on the Autus Fund Managers (Pty) Ltd (AFM) investment meetings.
This writing aims not to advise or to make statements of any kind or offend someone. Instead, the goal is to share this on an informal and ad hoc basis as the craving for writing arises. Don’t hesitate to contact APC and speak to one of our experienced and well-qualified planners for professional financial advice. Would you mind enjoying and feeling free to share this with anyone?